Saving the Privates of Ryder."
by Alan Smithee
Summary: The new Science Police Field Liasion/Legion deputy leader botched up his first mission and needs his name cleared. He needed the best. However, the best were out of town, so he got his brother and some of his friends to do it.


Legion:NEXT Fanscript: "Saving the Privates of Ryder."  
  
by Tom Greene.  
  
Time taking place: After "MaRiLyN MaNsOn HaS BiG MaN-bReAsTs."  
Some of these characters are the copyright of DC Comics. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.   
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!   
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.   
  
Page 1,(5P), panel 1. A guy in a bad suit stands in front of a curtain.  
  
An announcer guy:  
  
When we last left our heroes...  
  
1,2. You see part of the LSH battle in "MMHBMb."  
  
Top:  
  
Brisk had led his first LSH mission, to stop a Khund invasion.  
  
1,3. You see the team watching TV.Brisk looks shocked.   
  
Top:  
  
However, it turned out that the plane wasn't really an invasion ship...  
  
TV:  
  
A plane carrying a shipload of Khundian Jheryz Kids was brought down by the Legion of Super-Heroes today...  
  
Brisk:  
  
Crap.  
  
1,4. Announcer:  
  
However, there's been some talk off panel that this may have been a set-up. Is it? Do we really know if it was a case of someone setting up the team or if Brisk is just a latter-day John Rocker?  
  
1,5. Brisk:  
  
Dood, just get to the damn story already! These people need to see us, not you!  
  
Announcer:   
  
Okay. Just don't hurt me.  
  
2,1. Boombastic and Brisk are talking.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Johnny, I am in your debt.  
  
Brisk:  
  
Why?  
  
2,2. Boombastic looks somewhat happy.Brisk has a sour look on his face.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
You finally live your dream, to lead a Legion of Super-Heroes mission, and you botch that mo-so up SO BADLY that there's talk of war.  
  
Brisk:  
  
Cram it, man. I have this feeling that we were set up.  
  
2,3.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
How so?  
  
Brisk:  
  
I got those missions from the computer's AllNet function, SPNET if you're getting technical. Later during that broadcast, I had heard word that the Metropolis branch of SPNET was hacked.   
  
2,4. Boombastic looks skeptical.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
But you guys don't use the public domain for the Internet, do you?  
  
Brisk:  
  
'Fraid so. I need to send the Subs on a mission, Operation: Save John's Arse, if you will.  
  
2,5.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Sounds good.  
  
Brisk:  
  
Get the team together, I'll put you in the VirtualNET log. Just roam around and see if you can capture the hacker.  
  
2,6.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
You got it.  
  
3,1. You see the team (Boombastic, Bender, Time Warp, Kid Psycho, Cornell, Throwback, Powertrip, Stargate, and Nightfall) enter the computer room(For visuals, just use Virtual Reality of today.)  
  
Box at top of panel:  
  
VirtualNet- VirtualNet was created in 2350 in order to try and make the Internet more able to replace real life. It has stayed popular much longer than the other forms that have come and gone, and is still used by the most sentient beings in the United Planets. - Encyclopedia Galactica.  
  
3,2.   
  
Brisk:  
  
I'm going to seperate most of you into different types of VNet channels, so as not to have people catch on. Stargate'll be going to VNoir, Nightfall, Cornell, Throwback, and Powertrip will head for VN Music, and Boombastic,Bender,Time Warp, and Kid Psycho will head for CyberPunk. You will be able to interact with each other through the channels and think that the others are in your channel with you.  
  
3,3. You see Brisk punch in VNOIR.  
  
4,1. (All backgrounds computer-generated.) You see Stargate at a desk. He's decked out like a '30s detective.  
  
Stargate:  
  
1:32 p.m. I've been bored. It's hard doing this stuff. I got six slugs in my belly. One's lead, the rest are Silverale. Drink packs a wallop; I pack a revolver. I'm a private eye.  
  
4,2. You see Nightfall enter the office in some "'30s generic damsel" outfit.  
  
Nightfall:  
  
You have to help me! My man's in trouble with the Feds!  
  
4,3.   
  
Stargate(in thought):  
  
When someone upstairs made her, they broke the mold. She was what Lower New Yorkers call "All that and a bag of chips."  
  
Saying:  
  
Whaddaya need?  
  
4,4.  
  
Nightfall:  
  
This guy set up this dude I know. Claims he killed a bunch of kids. I know he didn't do it! Help me!  
  
4,5.  
  
Stargate:  
  
I'll take your case. I charge $50 creds per day. I take gas, ass, or grass.  
  
Nightfall:  
  
Thank you! You shan't regret this!  
  
4,6. A shot of a bar.  
  
Top:  
  
I decided to check the first place I could think of, the local tavern.   
  
5,1. You see Stargate at the bar. Boombastic is the one serving drinks.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
WHUZZUP!  
  
Stargate:  
  
Do you have any clues on the Big Info Heist?  
  
5,2.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
I'm looking man, come on!  
  
5,3.   
  
Stargate:  
  
Would a twenty refresh your memory?  
  
Boombastic:  
  
All I know is that he's down with some counterculture anarchist group! Let me be!  
  
5,4.   
  
Stargate:  
  
TELL ME WHICH GROUP IT IS!  
  
5,5.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
I heard Slick Billy knows all about them. Go bug him.  
  
5,6.   
  
Stargate:  
  
Thanks for the drink.   
  
(in thought)  
  
I had a lead. I had to get to it ASAP.  
  
6,1. A shot of a seedy flophouse.  
  
Top:  
  
Ah, this is the joint. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.  
  
6,2. You see Stargate at the front desk.  
  
Stargate:  
  
Which room is Slick Billy in?  
  
Time Warp(behind stand):  
  
He's in room 420. Tell him he's late on the rent!  
  
6,3. Stargate pulls out a revolver on Slick Billy(Kid Psycho in a zoot suit.)  
  
Stargate:  
  
WHADDAYA KNOW ABOUT THE INFO HEIST?  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Dood! Don't shoot! I'll talk!  
  
6,4. Stargate looks slightly calmer.  
  
Stargate:  
  
Okay then. Talk.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
It's run by this one dude. Med student turned anarchist activist. Calls himself Doc M.  
  
6,5. Stargate:  
  
Where's his hideout?  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Over in the bad area.  
  
6,6.   
  
Stargate:  
  
Couldja give me a ride?  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Sure.  
  
7,1.INT: You see a hot casino.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
This is a front for Doc M's doings.  
  
Stargate:  
  
Well, DUH. Go away kid, you bother me.  
  
7,2. You see Stargate head to the bar.  
  
Top:  
  
I was finally in there. Now, to find the boss.  
  
7,3. You see Stargate talk to a bartender(Tuckerization?)  
  
Stargate:  
  
Can you send me the Boss?  
  
Bartender:  
  
AGE/SEX/LOCATION.  
  
7,4. You see Doc M(Dr. Mayavale in '30s garb) enter.Stargate takes out his gun.  
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
So, what's your pleasure?  
  
Stargate:  
  
Give up, Doc M! We know you hacked into the SPNET to try and cause chaos!  
  
7,5.POV: Stargate Dr.Mayavale puts on some brass knuckles and hits into the panel.  
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
You may know that stuff, Robbie. But what good will it do you if you can't get out of the network?   
  
7,6. A black panel.  
  
Top:  
  
I went down quicker than my woman when the naval fleet came to town.  
  
Bottom:  
  
Has Dr.Mayavale actually won a fight? Is this the last we'll see of Stargate? Well, we have some more stories to tell, so you'll just have to wait...  
  
8,1. You see the room where the Subs are still in the "VR" equipment.  
  
Brisk:  
  
NASS! Robbie's is down. Someone got in there! Second team, now!  
  
8,2. Brisk presses in VR Music. (Computer backgrounds.)  
  
8,3. A '60s nightmare. Cornell, Nightfall, Powertrip, and Throwback are in "Mod" outfits.  
  
Cornell:  
  
What the hell is this?  
  
8,4. Boombastic and Stargate come in decked out in "Mod" outfits.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Ah, there's the band now! I need your help, gals!  
  
Nightfall:  
  
What do you need?  
  
8,5.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
My brother's being sent up for something he didn't commit. I need you to help clear his name.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
What are we supposed to do?  
  
Stargate:  
  
John! Punch in the Personality Disguise file!  
  
8,6.   
  
Throwback:  
  
But will we get back in time for the show?  
  
Stargate:  
  
There it goes. Of course you will!   
  
9,1. Boombastic looks angry.   
  
Cornell:  
  
Exactly. What do you expect from, um, Jocie and the...  
  
Boombastic:  
  
DO YOU WANT US TO BE SUED?  
  
9,2.   
  
Cornell:  
  
I'll be good.  
  
9,3.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Exactly. I don't want to get rough on you; that's for after this is all over.  
  
9,4.   
  
Throwback:  
  
Well, let's go! That guy won't be stopped doing this!  
  
10-11. You see a two-page scene,   
  
10, top corner: The four being frightened by a ghost-type.  
  
10, bottom corner: The four rolling in a grassy field.  
  
10-11: The four playing some instruments with the ghost-type dancing around like a maniac.  
  
11, top corner: The four running through a hallway with various connected doors.  
  
11,bottom corner:   
  
Powertrip:  
  
We've got you now!  
  
12,1. The ghost looks somewhat peeved.  
  
Ghost-type:   
  
Damn you girls! You've spoiled my plans!  
  
12,2.   
  
Nightfall:  
  
We've beaten you. Now, let's just see who you really are.  
  
12,3. The ghost takes off his mask to reveal Dr.Mayavale.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Why, it's old man Mayavale, the owner of the haunted amusement park!  
  
12,4.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
Actually, it's somewhat young man Mayavale, the All-Powerful Network Administrator. Prepare to feel the pain of one who makes and breaks the rules!  
  
13. You see a psychedelic haze. All four of the girls start passing out.  
  
14,1. Brisk looks upset.  
  
Brisk:  
  
NO! He's got them offline! It's up to you guys. To Cyber-Punk!  
  
14,2. You see Brisk accidentally type in Cyber-Pimp.  
  
14,3. You see a desolate urban area. Time Warp, Boombastic, and Kid Psycho are beamed in wearing the outfits of '70s blaxploitation actors.  
  
Time Warp:  
  
I don't think we're in Cyber-Punk anymore.  
  
14,4.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
So? We'll just have to blend in.   
  
14,5. You see them head toward some huge stereotypical blaxploitation people.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Hey, pimp daddys!   
  
14,6. One of them looks surprised.  
  
Guy:  
  
What are you talking about? Can't you see we're trying to set up our stock portfolio?  
  
Guy 2:  
  
Tell this dude that he can't bet the farm on high-tech stocks or he'll be playing with fire!  
  
15,1.   
  
Time Warp:  
  
Well, do you know who set up the hack job on SPNET?  
  
15,2.   
  
Guy:  
  
Oh yeah. That was Big Doc.   
  
15,3.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Thank you, gentlemen.   
  
15,4. They try to find Big Doc.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Where's da Big Pimp?  
  
Guy:  
  
I have no idea what you are talking about.  
  
16,1. You see them find this big mansion.  
  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Who lives there?  
  
Guy:  
  
The Big Hacker. He runs this city and rules our mindscapes.  
  
16,2.  
  
Time Warp:  
  
Well, we'll kick his arse and make the world safe for pimps, drug dealers, and gang-bangers!  
  
16,3. They go up to the door.  
  
16,4. They are allowed in.  
  
16,5.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
What kind of place is this?  
  
17,1. A big bouncer-type comes to get them.  
  
Bouncer:  
  
The Big Pimp will see you now.  
  
17,2. Our heroes enter The Big Pimp's room. Computer equipment is strewn around the landscape.  
  
Time Warp:  
  
Wazzup?  
  
Big Pimp:  
  
Please, call me Mayavale.  
  
17,3. Boombastic looks angry.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
My name is Shane Matzner. You besmirched my brother's name. Prepare to get your arse whooped.  
  
17,4. Dr.Mayavale is calm.  
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
Come on, Shane. You've got too much rage issues. Let me get out my ho's and we'll have a good time.  
  
17,5. You see Nightfall, Throwback, and Cornell come in dressed in typical "hood-rat hoochie mama" garb. Kid Psycho and Boombastic are angry.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?  
  
17,6. Dr.Mayavale waves his hand at the question.  
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
It's a simple thing, really. A quick defeat in their room, a warp to the character placement you put on them, and they're my bitches.  
  
18,1. You see Kid Psycho and Boombastic writing down something.  
  
Time Warp:  
  
That is quite interesting and a cool extra to do. However, you must be punished.  
  
18,2.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
You heroes don't get it, do you? You're on my home turf! I make the rules and break them. You can't win!  
  
18,3. Stargate comes though the ceiling decked out like Shaft.  
  
18,4. Stargate lands on Dr.Mayavale.  
  
Stargate:  
  
Think again! You're going to get beaten down quicker than James Hetfield at a Napster convention!  
  
18,5.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
You think so? Girls, take these people out for Big Poppa Punt!  
  
18,6. Boombastic puts his hands into motion, Kid Psycho goes to the side of him, and Time Warp goes to the other hand.  
  
Time Warp:  
  
FRY THE CIRCUITRY, MY HOMEY!  
  
19,1. The flame goes toward and hits Throwback, Cornell, and Powertrip.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
SMOKE THAT MOTHERSPROCKER LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG!  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
PUNK ROCK!  
  
19,2. The females revert into their old uniforms.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Thanks. That uniform left too little to the imagination.  
  
19,3.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
No words, just beat him up.  
  
19,4.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
NO! I didn't mean to beat his brother's image!  
  
19,5.   
  
Powertrip:  
  
Well, why should we believe you? If you weren't doing that, then what?  
  
19,6.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
All I wanted to do was cause some chaos!  
  
20,1. Kid Psycho is intrigued.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
How were you trying to do that?  
  
20,2.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
I figured that if I hacked into the databases of the Internet and claimed something that would involve you guys having to stop a passenger plane, the ensuing massive war would send the universe careening into anarchy!  
  
20,3. Kid Psycho is surprised.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
It's all so clear. I am in your debt for showing this.  
  
20,4.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
Now how will the dream be realized?  
  
20,5. Boombastic looks like he's up to something.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
I think I can figure out a plan...  
  
21,1. A computer screen at Legion HQ.  
  
HACKER CAUGHT!  
  
Metropolis (BPI)- The evil mastermind of the hacking into AllNET was apprehended by members of the Legion of Substitute Heroes yesterday. According to reports, 6 hours after the Subs were sent onto AllNET VR to look, they officially went to Science Police Officer John Ryder with the address of (To be Tuckerized), the viceroy of the Phillipines. According to bystander Andrew Mayavale, "This man was a complete and utter menace to society as a whole and must be jailed."  
  
21,2. Brisk is congratulating Boombastic.  
  
Brisk:  
  
Good show, my brother! I'm in the clear!  
  
21,3.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Did you expect anything else? We kicked his ass.  
  
22,1.  
  
Brisk:  
  
One question, though. Why would the prime minister of the Phillipines want to do such a thing?  
  
22,2.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Who knows? Probably just an attempt to get some more power.  
  
22,3. You see Kid Psycho and Stargate escort Dr.Mayavale to a dark pier.  
  
Top:  
  
Well, at the very least, I'm out of trouble. The government exonerated the Legion, we're all free, and everything's coming up Milhouse for me.  
  
22,4. Dr.Mayavale looks like he's plotting evil.  
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
Those heroes may have won this day, but soon everyone will grow to know the name of....DR. MAYAVALE!  
  
  
  



End file.
